Several weeks ago my husband Warren and I decided to jump in the car and drive to the local home improvement store. Ostensibly we were looking for stones for a raised bed he was about to build for me so I could grow some summer annuals. Once there we noticed they were having a sale on herbs and flowers and we each chose our favorites. Warren dived for the hot peppers; poblanos, cayenne, habaneros, while I chose tangerine and sunshine colored bell pepper plants. We both picked tomatoes although I stuck mostly to the lemon looking grape tomatoes that cost so much in the grocery store.
Next I eyed the herbs. One of the delights of summer is to step outside the kitchen door and quickly snip the ones I want for a breakfast or dinner dish. Despite the fact that I grow most of my herbs from seeds, this year I didn’t want to wait on the cilantro, dill, and Italian parsley. I also knew I was running out of time for dill and cilantro which tend to wilt in the hot Georgia sun and humidity by late June. After carefully examining our pickings for bugs and dead leaves we piled them into a whiskey barrel that I chose for growing tomatoes in my container garden and headed home.
The slowly setting sun allowed me to savor every moment of each gorgeous spring day. The winter of 2014 was long and hard for everyone everywhere so a week of warm weather brought a deep gladness to my heart. As Warren poured in new organic soil into my large pots, I feverishly tore off plastic wrapping and opened out roots to set in the fresh dirt. Watering the plants in, Warren called me over to look at the flags he placed to mark out where the new raised bed would be located along side of the house. It was difficult for me to envision so I let him know that I trusted him with the landscape design. I yearned for some well tilled soil and seeds so I could “play” with which flowers would flourish in my new space.
After a series of major afternoon thunderstorms the following week, I crept through the patio where my vegetable container garden began to take shape. As I examined the flowers for bugs and other chewing insects, I noticed some weeds growing into the large irises that Warren planted near our bedroom window. I had scrutinized these plants regularly since their fall planting. At first the irises seemed to just stand there, semi-erect watching the falling leaves dying all around them. Soon they even slumped over, laying in the soil as rain and snow and snow and rain, like big boots trampled them into the ground. As steady and warmer temperatures followed the deep cold, as if on cue the irises gathered some inner energy to once again stand even straighter and taller like soldiers saluting. I wondered once again about the power of spring energy, a power so great that plants emerge through rock.
Yet the weeds appeared as strong as the irises, budding and thriving right along side of and into them. As a master gardener, Warren often reminded me that a weed is just a flower in the wrong place. For me these “flowers” were definitely in an undesirable spot and they were about to choke my precious irises. As I pulled the first weed with its tall stem and pillar of yellow flowers, I observed that I would have to tug on it gently otherwise I would pull out the well rooted iris along with the weed. Then it hit me. Sometimes gently weeding works better than finding a shovel or trowel and jerking the weeds out of the soil. And this process of gentle weeding worked even better than the commercial weed killers which were likely to kill the irises as well.
Slowly and gently weeding these irises prompted me to ponder my life and the lives of others. Didn’t I need to do some gentle weeding this summer and fall? Were there some clothes and other items that I wasn’t using that needed to be removed and given to someone who would wear them? Then I thought about some bad habits, compulsions and recurrent behaviors that I could begin to let go of. Complaining and talking too much immediately came to mind. When I am around people who complain all of the time, it doesn’t look or feel good. I knew I needed to start focusing on what worked instead of what wasn’t working. And TMI (too much information) is never good. There also might be some people that needed some gentle weeding out of my life. Oh I always feel guilty when I think this way. But I’ve learned that toxic people along with their kin, “energy vampires” can quickly drain my energy. When I talk with people who always see the glass half empty and are not making any attempts to fill up the other half, I know I need to minimize the time I spend with them.
There is something healing about the practice of gentleness but that is a topic for another blog. Undoubtably, taking the gentle approach to people and situations in my life seems better than using a sledge hammer or heavy pesticide. I would much rather be awakened gently than to have someone frighten me with a loud voice or noise to wake up me up.
Is there something or someone you need to gently weed out of your life? Is some obstacle keeping you from growing and thriving like a beautiful summer flower or a succulent gorgeous tomato or cucumber? Maybe you have an addiction to television or social media when you know that time and energy could be used in a more constructively manner? What weeds need to be gently removed from your life so you can feel Peace in your heart?