BREAKING NEWS: Now is the Time for Deep Inner Listening

Have the words BREAKING NEWS now become like a broken neon sign that blinks all the time and reads more like MORE BAD NEWS?  It doesn’t matter if BREAKING NEWS is viewed on television or heard via radio or read in print, it feels the same. Underneath the heightened anxiety is the thought, “Can it get any worse?”  Yet this season of panic and woe offers many blessings.  Among them—It is a time for deep inner listening.

I gave up watching weekday television for Lent.  I noticed that I was watching too much.  I compassionately observed myself one week and discovered that my daily schedule revolved around television programs. I tuned in to an early morning show and it became my company for breakfast. Next I would arrange lunch for around 2:00 pm so I could watch Daily Blast, the show whose tag line is “We’re talking about what you’re talking about.”  Clearly, all of that chatter should have served as an omen.  Typically, dinner was accompanied by the news with a dose of The Daily Show with Trevor Noah or some comedic program to soften the tumult of nightly news.  Later I might top off the evening with light drama like Grey’s Anatomy, This is Us, or Cherish the Day which often overflowed into bedtime.  Granted, I could have recorded most of the shows for viewing anytime but TV determined my daily routine.

I found TV to be distracting. Unfortunately, it sapped my productivity as well.  And if I watched something particularly stark or disturbing in the evenings, the content seeped into my dreams.  Why was I dreaming about the horrific Coronavirus Icon, face masks, DonaldTrump, KobeGiggi Bryant, MeaganMarkleHarry, NBA, NCCA, pandemic, not enough tests, stay in the house, rainy weather, talking heads, stock market red, retirement plans, cases rising, is there enough food, quarantine?  Television was not only keeping me from my loves (e.g., sewing, reading, writing, crocheting, gardening) but it cluttered up my mind to an almost unbearable state. Most importantly, TV was keeping me from hearing the Voice of God.

I didn’t realize until Lent, how kind, gentle, and nurturing the silence is in my home. I was missing the sweet stillness heard in the chirping of the birds outside.  Who can hear the Guidance when as my niece, Liz told me last night, “There are a thousand thoughts twirling through my mind and I don’t know how I can survive the stress of all of this?”  I knew it was time to return to the discipline of quiet listening from within.

I understand what it feels like to be freaked out.  About 27 years ago, I became totally discombobulatedwhen they first told me I was going to need a heart transplant.  Similarly, I experienced a partial meltdown when during a rejection episode the doctor informed me the transplant team would be able to save my heart but would need to kill my kidneys, later leading to dialysis and a kidney transplant. I came home and cried when they said I would need more surgery to replace the tricuspid valve of my dear sweet transplanted heart. Yes, I’ve become hysterical and screamed to anyone who would listen, got underneath the bed covers and boohooed with my teddy bear and tissues. But at a certain time in the midst of it, I would hear a soft inner Voice say, “Okay.  Time to get up and do something else. This too will pass.” Impermanence is the permanent in our lives. So how do we adapt? Here are some of the ways I utilize inner listening during a time such as this.

1) I truly believe that during trauma, crisis and challenge rather than being finely tuned into the fear, panic, anxiety and chaos of the world, I am better served by “Centering Down’” a term that Howard Thurman, Thomas Kelly, and Rufus Jones all recommended as a way to access wisdom instead of terror. I grew weary of feeling anything but peaceful. Thus, I take time each morning and evening and on the hour when I am available to PAUSE. I stop ruminating about the latest statistics and seek the Peace that I know lies deep inside. I continue to practice controlling my thoughts instead of allowing them to control me. Once I feel the deep peace that inner listening brings, I refuse to settle for less.

2) For those who possess runaway minds like mine and especially during a calamity, mantras and chants are a saving grace. Among my favorites, “Peace be still,” “The Lord is my Shepard and I shall not want,” “I am as God Created me,” or any parts of “Be still/and know/that I am God.”  What a mantra does is slow down and in some cases eliminates the out of control thoughts that lead to panic, fear, anxiety, and anxiousness. But you must practice. Next time you feel your mood shift as though you are being pulled into the vortex of alarm and terror, start chanting your selected inspirational phrase over and over and over until you feel a shift. The result:  a tranquil mind, a semblance of peace. Ahhhhh now doesn’t the thought of inner peace sound good?

3) Another method that I have used in workshops and retreats recently, and shared with Liz last night is the heart exercise.  Some form of this I learned on the Math-Heart Institute website (HeartMath Tools) to encourage people to live from and through their hearts. It is important to locate a quiet spot (even if it’s the bathroom) and comfortable chair or cushion. Sit in a relaxed position, close your eyes and take three deep breaths (inhale through the nose and exhale out of the mouth). Then relax and notice your heart beating. Next park yourself in your heart. Yes, sit in your heart for few minutes. Feel the peace, the stillness and the joy. Listen. What are you being guided to do next?  Do you need to engage in a creative activity with yourself or your family, go outside and get some fresh air or enjoy some emerging spring flowers, watch a movie or read a great book? You may need to turn off your television, radio, or stop checking social media about the latest outrage or panic-stricken comment. Periodically stepping out of the whirlwind can be healing.  

Now is the time for deep INNER listening. We are in the midst of a “Holy Interruption!”  Embrace it and discover all that you have been yearning for but haven’t pursued because you’ve been too busy running from one activity to another. They are canceled. Can you shift your focus from fear to the love, from panic to peace? What brings you joy and makes your heart sing? Who can you call to check on or offer some comfort to?  

Know that Guidance goes with you wherever you are. Cease looking outside of yourself for the Answers. I promise, if you engage in this ancient tradition of quieting the mind and stilling the heart, you will feel more of the peace and joy that lies within you. You will discover a Connection that has never been broken. The Living Presence patiently awaits your attention and awareness.

The Beauty of Toni Morrison is a Gift from the Creator

The Nobel Prize Award winning author, Toni Morrison touched me with beauty.  Not the common image of beauty as physical attractiveness like a stunningly gorgeous person, but beauty manifested as vulnerability, strength, virtue, grandeur and magnificence.  Illustrating the depth of beauty in life was a major theme in her writing.  She showed us beauty in the stories she told and in relationships she described.   Ms. Morrison’s writings highlighted the Love in Beauty and the Beauty in Love.  

I met Toni Morrison once briefly when I boldly asked her to sign my copy of Beloved during a literary conference.  Whether in person or participating in an interview, Toni Morrison always carried the same grace and beauty that she wrote about.  I am so grateful for her presence in the world as a gifted human spirit and writer who affected my life and my spirit.

The language of The Bluest Eye, Sula, Song of Solomon, Tar Baby, Love among so many lovely novels Ms. Morrison wrote, evoked a sense of awe in me like a beautiful painting hanging in a museum would.  Toni Morrison taught me to observe the beauty in people, places, and objects beyond what we typically associate with exquisite paintings, sculptures, music and movies. 

My favorite pastime and contemplative activity as a young girl was to sit on some weathered leather or clean but old fabric couch and eat a green apple while reading a book.  Reading books took to me to other worlds that I couldn’t see from our all Black neighborhood in Pasadena, CA.  Books piqued my imagination and curiosity as I stepped into the lives of fantasy and children that I would never know in places I had never heard of.  

My memories are sketchy but I believe I was first introduced to the public library in first grade and cherished my library card as if it was a valuable gold coin.  I kept it in a special place in my dresser drawer so I would always know where to find it when it was time for a trip to the library.    For a few summers I participated in a children’s book reading club challenge. I loved to check off the list of the eight to ten books we were assigned to read, although I suspect I enjoyed the competition or sense of achievement more than some of the books.

Later I read different books mostly for school like Black Boy, The Great Gatsby, The Good Earth, and Invisible Man.  At the time, I was unaware of authors like Zora Neale Hurston, Dorothy West and Paule Marshall and it didn’t occur to me that I read writings that were devoid of black female protagonists.  Such literature was not part of the AP curriculum in my high school in the late 1960’s and no internet existed to search for such things.

In 1970, the publication of the The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison changed everything for me.  Ms. Morrison made a little black girl yearning to be someone other than the radiant holy child of God that she was, the center of her novel.  Black girls mostly remained invisible or marginalized in mainstream American literature.   Inspired by all of the beauty Toni Morrison opened my eyes to, led me to think deeply.  I wondered.  I am not a writer nor musician, dancer, or visual artist.  How can I contribute beauty to the world? 

I believe I found the answer through the expression of my unique creative talents.  I love elegant fabric.  I bask in the joy of turning two dimensional pieces into wearable art, of creating personalized tea cozies and comfort blankets made of fleece with crocheted edging.  I am passionate about gorgeous flowers so I plant zinnias, dahlias, cosmos, and marigolds next to easy growing vegetables in my container garden.  Gardening also allows me to create simple beauty by preparing colorful and delicious meals for family and friends.  I also have a gift for writing but not like Toni Morrison.  I wasn’t called to create fine literature.  I am drawn to share practical spiritual stories.  I like to generate deep inquiries and invite folks to explore their inner lives.  I realize, though the inspiration for both of us emerges from the same Source.

Toni Morrison’s writings threw a life preserver to many people, black women in particular.  She followed her calling to write and perfect her craft.   In one of the many interviews airing recently, Ms. Morrison noted that there were two things that she needed to do or she would die.  One was to be a mother to her sons and the other was to write.  Again I pondered—what am I compelled to do or feel like I might die?   

Sometimes as artists, and we are all artists in some way,  we become unblocked and the beauty just flows right out of us like a gift from the Creator.  Usually, it is in moments of quiet, in the stillness, in the toil of revising, and revising, and revising or chopping vegetables and mixing ingredients that we are able to feel and capture the Beauty that surrounds us.  Often we translate these moments into words on the page or into delicious, healthy, edible feasts.

What kind of beauty are you called to share with the world?  What do you feel compelled to do or feel like you might die?  Would answering your calling to create more beauty in your life and the lives of others bring more peace and joy to your heart?